Perhaps this hasn’t escaped your attention, but I’m not exactly a Type-A person.

My cousin’s wife is. We graduated the same year and she got a great job after college and by 26, owned a 3-story home off Allen Parkway. Me? By 26, I’d been laid off twice, tried but failed to get in to grad school, had a job I hated and was living in a microscopic efficiency. My cousin’s wife met all of our extended family one time and knows all their names, ages and birthdays. I don’t know half their names. My cousin’s wife would say she had certain goals- to have a house, be married and have a baby by 30. Then she would laugh but I think she was serious. She got married at 29 and pregnant a few weeks later.

When my super-duper awesome friend backed out of the job I just applied for, I was shocked because I thought she would be a perfect fit. But she has other goals. And one of the reasons she listed was that she could stay in our metro and help guide it as we open new locations, etc. It never once occurred to me to feel ownership of the city. My workplace? YES. But that’s where it ended. This girl has goals and outlines and priorities.

Me? I have feelings.

I mean, I have goals. I want to pay off my debt. I want to buy a new Honda Fit. I want a house with a pool. I want to have kids. I want to have an awesome garden. I want to travel. I want Dave and me to have fulfilling jobs, preferably ones that pay well.

And that’s it. I don’t really have any work-related goals, or, I do but they’re vague. Like to work my current job, but in another town, NYC or maybe DC, maybe Colorado. Maybe move up to the corporate level of designing. But that also terrifies me because I haven’t had to come up with actual design from scratch in years.

Anyway, they say that if you write something down, like on a To Do list, you’re 500x more likely to achieve it. (Or whatEVER it is they really say.) And I’m inspired by Mighty Girl, who said creating her Life List has actually changed her life. (And Intel is now sponsoring her to actually do some of those things, so go Maggie!)

So I’m going to make a life list. I’ll post it as a page on my blog. Maybe I DON’T want to be a CEO of anything, or Top Sales whatever, or have to own a suit other than a bathing suit (or 10). But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be working toward something, at least. So here goes. I’ll cross them off and date them as I finish them and remove ones when I change my mind.

So remember when I said, “I try and see if the door opened?”

It didn’t. I wasn’t even selected for an interview. And so that’s a fairly clear message.

I was surprisingly disappointed for a girl who felt like she was going through the motions for a week. But I recognize my ego when I see it and I knew that’s what was wounded. I wasn’t disappointed that I wouldn’t have to find a way out of my lease, repaint the apartment, look for a new apartment, find Dave a job, etc. I was disappointed that I hadn’t even made it past Round 1.

It does save me a lot of energy, though. And money because now I don’t have to buy a new interview outfit.

So I’m feeling better about Austin. I drove straight to the potential future job this morning and still wasn’t feeling better. I walked in and felt defeated and unmotivated.

Then I met with a potential future coworker and we toured the store and talked about it. By the end I felt more confident and was actually talking about plans to work with the team and polish it up. I was saying, “we.”

I left feeling high. Not eat Cheetos and watch Kangaroo Jack high, but like on a cloud high. I still have a formidable opponent or 2 (UPDATE: 4, as it turned out), but I think I have a strong chance. I’m going to give it my all and see what happens. Which is what I said yesterday but now I don’t wonder where that motivation is going to come from.

The downside to working there will be my checking account, as I will be within walking distance of a Lululemon, Amy’s Ice Cream (though given the pineapple basil sorbet I tried today, I won’t need Amy’s), REI, Book People and Waterloo Records.

I would also need this girl to come and join me as soon as there’s an opening.

So there’s this job opportunity. My instincts were not to apply for it, because I love where I’m at so much. But my instincts were also not to apply for my job at my current location because I felt like I had work to do at my old job. There were issues that needed fixing and I felt like I shouldn’t leave until I’d fixed them. Guess not.

I’ve thrown my name in the hat for this opportunity and it’s in Austin. I’ve never been one of those people that thought Houston sucks and I needneedneed to get to Austin. I mean, I LOVE Austin and I will shop at funky SoCo shops and eat Kerbey Lane’s queso and chill at Zilker ANY OLD TIME. And since headquarters of my company is there I’ve definitely hoped to end up there, but I’ve never searched the “help wanted” ads in Austin just so I could live there.

And the job? It’s great! It gives me more time/room to be creative. It puts me in the spotlight more. It seems like a lot more work on paper since the location is so much bigger, but because the work is split between 3.5 people (one part-time, not one half-person), it seems like it might actually be easier. Not that the work will be easier but the juggling act, which is most of my job, doesn’t seem to be there. And, uh, it’s in Austin!! I’d be 35 minutes from Pedernales! And a billion other awesome state parks! And 3 hours closer to Marfa! With Dave working in the biking world, it probably wouldn’t be hard for him to find work there. Plus, he said he’d mow lawns if we’d just move to Austin already.

I should be stoked! But I feel kind of like I’m floating in the lazy river. I’m moving along, but that’s about it. I’ll be up against very strong competition. So strong, in fact, I’m not sure I’ll get an interview! But I’m doing all my homework anyway. I’ve talked to people about the job, I’m driving up there tomorrow to meet with a possible future coworker and discuss.

But I don’t feel the ownership yet. I felt it when when I came to work for this company. I felt it when I began to apply for my current location. But this? This will be good experience. This will give me a chance to get super creative with the interview process so I wow them. This will be interesting as I’m a little terrified and intimidated. But this doesn’t feel like it’s in the bag, like my interviews before it.

So here’s what I go through: I feel like it’s a hassle and I’m tired and tomorrow is the 4th of July and I want to sleep in and go to a barbecue and watch fireworks, not spend the day in the car. I occasionally get mad at myself for not having the strength to say, “I don’t even want this! I’m just going for it because I’m supposed to!”

And then I’ll respond, “Who’s to say I don’t want it? Just because I’m happy where I’m at, I shouldn’t move forward in my career? Maybe I’m too comfortable.”

“Maybe it’s not comfort, it’s the universe telling you to stay right there.”

“Maybe it’s the universe giving me this opportunity! You know that phrase about being on the right path when the doors open? Let’s see if I’m on the right path! And then if I don’t get it, at least I tried and I’ve gotten my name out there.”

And the other side of me has no argument for that. So I proceed. Until a few hours later when I wish I had the ovaries to back out and admit I don’t want it. Repeat.

I meditated for the first time in weeks today. I feel better. I’ll sit again tomorrow morning before I go. Hopefully it will help straighten my brain out. Furthermore, as my uncle pointed out to my cousin, you don’t have a decision to make until you’ve got an offer on the table. So there’s that.

At any rate, at least ONE of us is making use of the meditation cushion.

UPDATE: Case in point!

You know you have crossed the line of snobby when you look at this bar of soap and think:

“I bet that has Yellow #5. Or sodium laurel sulfate.”

I am returning to my regularly scheduled life, back from 40-hour weeks worked in 4 days; 3- and 4-day weekends taken without using vacation days; audiobooks on road trips and unpacking just to pack again. (But can I just say that after both trips I was unpacked within 24 hours? Such is my need for routine and normalcy, I guess.)

Last weekend, as I mentioned, we drove to Glen Rose, TX, home of Dinosaur Valley State Park. Almost none of my second cousins on my dad’s side had met Dave, or knew I was married, for that matter. To eloping! -clink!- And I’m really not that close to that side of the family. I am NOW, now that everyone’s friended me on Facebook. It was fun. My grandma is 80 and has 6 siblings. All of them are still alive and kickin’ and 4 of them were there. I know lots of people who are like “What’s a great aunt?” And I have so many and I definitely consider myself fortunate. Especially when we’re playing cards and we get to make fun of Uncle Jimmy right in front of him because he can’t hear us.

Hell’s gonna be aaaaaaawesoooooome!

So then we came home, went right back to work through Thursday and left Thursday after work for Dallas. We spent the night at my parents’ and woke up early to get our rent car and head to Oklahoma. My Grand Plan was to leave my car in Dallas to get some paint/body work done. 4 years ago, my parents and I switched cars for some reason and while driving my car, my dad got rear ended by a Porsche Cayenne. Their insurance covered everything and I never even saw a scratch, a photo, nothing. Fast forward 4 years and the clear coat is totally peeling off.

*******

This conversation just happened. FYI, Ike is not allowed on the bed. When Dave got home, I was sitting on the bed typing this and Ike was curled up by my knees.

“Is that Ike ON THE BED with you?”

“Yeaaaaah.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re going to feed the kids ice cream at bedtime.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. I’m just paying you back for it in advance.”

*******

Anyway, the paint/body shop has a lifetime warranty. So my Grand Plan was to drop it off Friday morning, drive a rental to OK, pick up my shiny car on Monday and drive her home. This plan was apparently full of holes.

1. Apparently you can’t rent a car with a debit card. Anywhere. Or if you do find a place that will rent to you without a major credit card, they’ll run a credit check and charge you $400 up front. But you don’t even have to worry about that. Because those places are out of cars. I don’t carry my credit cards around. I used to keep one in my wallet “for emergencies.” Guess what SHOULDN’T qualify as an emergency? Birthday presents for friends when I’m broke. Dark wash Joe’s Jeans size 28 in “The Lover” fit on clearance. Gas. Impromptu dinner dates because we had a stressful day. That include wine and dessert.

So I stopped that. Know what I keep now “for emergencies?” A savings account.

And what do I get for being responsible? The awesomeness of having to ask my little brother to rent a car for me.

And so I went with him to pick up the car, we dropped his car off at the shop, dropped mine off at the shop and finally got on the road at 11am, after arriving to the first car rental place at 7:30am.

2. Of course my car wasn’t ready on Monday! So I’m using my mom’s Accord. She’ll use my dad’s car while he’s in Rhode Island visiting family. I almost kept the rent car for a few more days- the Sirius radio seemed worth it, but my mom was right, this is much cheaper. However, she does not have a cd player or auxiliary port, let alone Sirius radio. I listened to Harry Potter via static fm transmitter.

3. This has nothing to do with my Grand Plan being full of holes. Just life being full of holes. Our A/C went out on Thursday. I called my landlady and told her that we’d be gone for 4 days, so the timing was just right. I had to pack in a 90° apartment, but it’d be all better when I came home.

No. We’d played phone tag with the A/C guy all weekend, which was dumb, in my opinion. Our landlady called an A/C guy and then gave us his number and told us to handle the rest of it. From Oklahoma. So he and Dave missed connections all weekend. They finally came out on Monday, found the problem, and needed clearance from our stupid landlady to go ahead with it. So we had to get in touch with her again, but by then it was too late to fix it and they said they’d come out Tuesday morning.

I don’t know if you’ve ever spent the night in a city apartment in Texas in June with no A/C . . . but it goes something like this. Cold shower, open windows, get the down comforter off the bed, don’t touch me, and waking up like, “OH MY GOD, WE DID IT, WE DESERVE A MEDAL!” (Even the dog, who won’t even sit on the hardwoods when a treat is at stake, he has to sit on a carpet or cushion- even HE moved off his bed onto the cool hardwoods for the night.) And then looking forward to going to work because at least there, your shirt and bra will dry.

Oh, and you now have 14 new mosquito bites.

I had a family reunion this weekend near Dinosaur Valley State Park. And our dogsitter fell through at the last minute so I went to Yelp and found a place to keep Ike. I went to their website and it looked cute and sweet and not at all clinical or impersonal.

So I dropped him off on Friday morning and it was relatively uneventful. Until he saw me walking away and I heard him bark and saw his tiny white paw reaching through the fence. I laughed and my heart broke into tiny pieces, but I kept going. I was sure he’d be fine.

Fast forward through a family reunion where Dave KILLED (what, you didn’t know it was a comedy show?), I found out that some of my cousins are cool, Dinosaur Valley is probably lovely in the winter, Glen Rose is actually adorable until you go to Brookshire’s, which is sort of like being in a horror film and any minute now I was probably going to slip in a puddle of blood I hadn’t noticed. Fast forward to arriving home today.

The kennel isn’t open to the public on Sundays, but they WILL do a pick up between 4 and 6 if you make the arrangements ahead of time and agree to pay the $25 fee. It’s only $35 for another day so it seems absurd. But I didn’t want to leave Ike any longer than I needed to, so I said we’d be happy to pay the fee and pick him up Sunday.

“Oh. Um, what time?”

“Well, your website says I can pick him up between 4 and 6.”

“Yes, but can you give a specific time?”

“How about 5?” That would give us enough time to possibly have lunch with family or get in a quick swim or something before heading home.

We got home at 4:25, unloaded the car and rested for a bit. Then we went to pick up Ike. Both of us missed him and were looking forward to seeing him. Poor guy is a rescue dog and I was wondering how being kenneled again would affect him. Did he think he’d ever see us again? Would he act out? Would he be mad at us? Would he forget us if he got to snuggle with another human? Could I possibly anthropomorphize him more?

So we got to the place in good spirits. Dave said, “We’re coming, Ike!” as we got out of the car. We got to the front and it was locked. We were a few minutes early, so we waited. Then at about 5:03 I called them and left a voice mail. We waited. At 5:20 I left another voice mail saying they could call me tonight otherwise I’d be there at 7am when they opened.

I was PISSED. I’m ready to leave a nasty review on their Yelp page, but I don’t know the whole story. Maybe there was a miscommunication between the employees. Maybe there was an accident and someone had to go to the hospital and nobody could notify us. Maybe everyone who worked there spontaneously combusted.

All I know is they’re getting a review on Yelp tomorrow and we’ll see if what I find out in 12 hours or so from now can save them.

In the meantime, my husband who didn’t want a dog is throwing a tantrum. “IIIIIIIIIIIIke! IiiiiiIIIIIIiiiiiiike! I miss Ike! I miss his stinky breath. I miss the way his little feet smell like pee.”

Dude has lost it. More on this as events unfold.

UPDATE: We went this morning at 7am and the lady said, “You were supposed to pick up Ike yesterday, right?” We said yes and she said, “I am SOOOOOO sorry!” I waited for an explanation. She went on to say that the girl who was supposed to meet us was delayed because her car broke down and when she got there to feed the dogs and let them out, she’d been so frazzled she just forgot about the pick-up.

She didn’t charge us for the extra day and obviously didn’t charge us the Sunday pick-up charge.

My anger had worn off because Ike was safe and taken care of and they were super nice about it. We just missed our dog and the lady said she could understand why, he was a great dog. He’d had no incidents and she said her daughter fell in love with him and walked around holding him. Which is good, because that guy loves his snuggles. As do we.

When we got Ike, we considered naming him something deer-like, (Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Cupid, etc) since he’s colored like a deer and is delicate like one.

So I started calling him the cat-deer, a nickname I straight stole from these people. Dave calls him the cat-dog. Justin wants us to put antlers on him for Halloween.

But he’s been demoted. We’re dropping the -deer and the -dog and just calling him the cat.

We took him to the beach and that guy would NOT get his paws wet. I don’t think he was as afraid of the water as he was of the waves coming AT him. I guess it can look pretty menacing if you don’t know what it is. We’d run up to the water and he’d put the brakes on and try to twist out of his collar. I eventually get him to go in about 4 inches of water by handing him treats the whole time, but he wasn’t happy about it. He spent most of our day like this.

This is your friendly public service announcement.

My mom’s friend is an ER nurse at Hermann Hospital in the med center. I love to ask her about the crazy things she sees. She calls motorcyclists “organ donors,” she talks about the number of people with tattoos and their odds of being HIV+. And when we saw her a few weeks ago, she threw in this one, “Oh, and never take Tylenol.”

We all looked at her. What?

“It causes liver failure. It’s so weird. Healthy people – kids! who play high school football!- will come in walking and talking and in 3 days they’re dead.”

What?

So today I did some very light Googling and right off the bat found this and this. Those are scary enough for me. Here’s what WebMD says about it (click on side effects, precautions, etc.)

I guess I always thought that those warning labels on the side were for stupid people, people who thought it would be a good idea to take double or triple the amount to combat the pain. Or to let people know that if you’re taking Tylenol longer than a few days, “Hey, you might have something serious.” I didn’t think those warnings were actually saying, IF YOU TAKE TOO MUCH YOU MIGHT DIE.

Same with the alcohol warnings. I thought that it was more a warning about safety, like operating heavy machinery. Saying, “Hey, normally you have 1 beer with dinner. If you have this Tylenol and 1 beer, you’ll be royally messed up and shouldn’t, like, drive, or work at a meatpacking plant.” Not, IF YOU TAKE THIS PLUS ALCOHOL YOU MIGHT DIE.

So yeah. No more acetaminophen for me, if I can help it.

Is a time that this website describes this way:

At 05:01 UT (Universal Time), on Thursday, May 7th, 2009, Mercury the cosmic trickster turns retrograde at 1°44′ Gemini, in the sign of the Twins, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! The retro period begins some days before the actual turning point (as Mercury slows) and lasts for three weeks or so, until May 31, when the Winged Messenger reaches his direct station. At this time he halts and begins his return to direct motion through the zodiac.

Yeah. COME ON, May 31.

In the past 3 weeks . . .

• I needed to order a new printer for work. I e-mailed the vendor I place orders with about twice a month and he was on vacation. So I e-mailed his assistant and placed the order. She e-mailed me back and asked if I needed anything else, I responded and said no.

Days go by. I check the Out of Office e-mail of my normal contact- he’s back!- and e-mail him. He’s like, “What printer?” I fwd him all the communication and he apologizes, ships it right away and waives shipping. Which is saying something for a 225lb printer.

• When I ordered the printer, I also ordered the paper since I could now print a new size. I get a response saying, “Got it!” On May 7th. On May 20th, I resend that e-mail asking the ETA of my paper. Turns out that through a glitch it hadn’t shipped.

• I placed an order to an outside production place. When we got it back, it was the wrong size. I composed a carefully worded e-mail to let them know just how and where they’d fucked up . . . and before I sent it, I decided to check my original e-mail. I’d attached the wrong file. (One might argue that this is typical me and perhaps not entirely the fault of Mercury.)

• At work, we’d printed up some calendars for a promotion. On Saturday morning, we got an e-mail saying saying the calendars were wrong. I’d need to reprint 12 banners and ALL the flyers. We’d need to pull product and put out a different product. And print all new signage for that product.

Then we got an e-mail essentially saying MY BAD!

• I took my relatives to my new favorite bar. I was the first to arrive (now THERE’S a sign the planets are doing something screwy) and I ordered our drinks and placed an order for their cheese plate. My family arrived, they ordered their drinks and I still didn’t get my cheese plate. We needed to leave to make dinner on time, so I went to ask about it.

Their kitchen printer was out of paper, so they never got my order. (They made it quickly and took it off my tab. And my cousin from L.A. said, “This is the best cheese plate I’ve ever had!” So . . . worth it!)

• My friend’s hard drive in his newish MacBook failed. Apple said they’d back it up before they replaced it. They couldn’t. he lost everything. It was, however, under warranty. (Back up your hard drives, people.)

Yeah. It’s been a long few weeks.