Ode to a Silverware Pattern

Dear Retroneu Sextet 18/10 (KOREA)-

I want to thank you for your 8 years of service to me. In college I used some terrible dollar store silverware, er, flatware is really a better word.  The metal coating began to flake off and the “silver” part kept coming out of the plastic handle after a while.  It was bad.  It even tasted bad and last I checked?  Silverware isn’t supposed to have a flavor.

After graduating, I’d picked out a silverware pattern for a wedding that didn’t happen.  That was you, Retroneu Sextet 18/10 (KOREA).  The Petermans generously bought it for me as a graduation present.  4 place settings as well as the extras: Serving Fork/Knife, Ladle, Cake Slicer, and Tiny Butter Knife.  I’m sure those are the proper names.

Over the years, I’ve had hand-me-down plates, cups that didn’t match, I’ve NEVER had a dining room table in my adult life, but I’ve had you.  I’d sit down on my couch to whatever ghetto-fabulous meal I’ve concocted, eating it off of an old china plate of my parents’ and I’d have this well-designed, shiny fork in my hand.  The weight of your handle is something I found comforting. (Low-quality flatware weighs practically nothing.)

I couldn’t have a meal for more than 4 guests without someone having to use the “baby spoon” or the “baby fork,” but I didn’t care because you always held your own.  There’s something about having nice silverware that is more important than having nice other things.  It ranks right up there with nice sheets.  Bed?  Optional.  Super soft sheets?  Mandatory.

But unfortunately I have to give you up, Retroneu Sextet 18/10 (KOREA).  It’s not by choice.  But you’ve been discontinued and you have practically no pieces anywhere.  I just put a bid on one of your spoons on eBay because that will complete my original set.  Just one spoon.  8 years and somehow I’ve only managed to lose one piece.

So I’m replacing you with a pattern from Crate & Barrel that costs . . . multiply that by 2 . . . carry the 1 . . . oh, a MILLION times more than you did.  But I’m clearly not over you because I picked out the pattern that was most like you: classic but with modern lines and a nice weight.  None of this 3-tine fork stuff, or perfectly circular spoon thing (what IS that part of a spoon called?), or shiny mouth parts with matte handles.  NO.  This looks just like you except instead of the handle being hexagonal, it’s rectangular and has a single 90° twist, hence the name, Twist.

I suppose it IS time for me to move on and not cling to a silverware pattern that I picked out when I was a completely different person.  And not be so hard-headed.  But for now, I’ll keep you as backup silverware in case we need to use you. Or maybe I’ll give you to one of my siblings that moves away from home so that they never have to superglue a fork back into its plastic handle.