Last night I realized I’ve been fighting what’s good for me.  I tend to do that occasionally.  Perhaps we all do.  I’ve been planning a wedding reception (don’t worry if you haven’t been invited, nobody has yet) and I planned it for the exact day of a 100-mile bike ride Dave’s been training for.  Like, seriously training for.  He stopped going to yoga so he would have time to bike every day, between 9 and 30 miles a day, I think.  But it was either that weekend or the weekend of ANOTHER bike ride he’s planning to do.

Which leads me to another point.  I’m not really a cyclist.  Dave?  Dave’s a cyclist.  He cares about his heart rate, his cadence, miles per hour, top speed, etc.  Me?  Not so much.  I ride to work along the bayou bike trail and this was our convo on Wednesday:

Dave: How was your first day riding to work?

Me:  It was great!  I saw 2 golden-crowned night herons, a great blue heron, 3 turtles, some sandpipers, some swifts and a ton of fish.  One fish was really big and was sitting where it’s shallow, and his fin was sticking up out of the water and he had these golden flecks that were SO PRETTY in the sunlight.

Dave: . . .

SO.  Here’s what we MIGHT do.  Remember that beautiful baby I got for Christmas?  Well, I suggested selling it so I could get a commuter bike.  Here’s the one I want:

Click the link to go to the site.  Look how it folds up!! I test rode one and it’s so much more comfortable to sit on.  I don’t think road bikes are good for my back- it hurts my neck to look up.  And obviously I like looking up so I can spot the pancake turtles.

Anyway, Dave said, “We are NOT selling the Bianchi.”  I think he wants it.  It’s a better road bike than his and if he really wants to start racing, I think the Bianchi will be better for that.  And then he’ll probably turn his bike into a fixie.  No, he’ll turn his bike into the COOLEST FIXIE EVER.  I know him, he will.

But back to my original point, since Dave’s no longer going to yoga, it’s that much harder for me to feel motivated about it.  Yesterday I left for yoga and then decided that I didn’t want to get there late and I came home.  Dave was like, “What’s wrong?  Are you okay?”  I didn’t know I wasn’t until he asked that.  So I meditated a little last night and a lot this morning.  I made myself sit for the full hour, and for the first 45 minutes, I fought it.  I couldn’t sit still, I scratched my legs, I turned to look at the clock.  Then I got annoyed at how I was fighting it.

Then I decided to accept it.  Right now I don’t want to meditate, at this moment I’m making it harder for myself.  At some point that will change, but for now it’s a struggle.  And wouldn’t you know it, the next 15 minutes flew by.  I’d heard that we need to sit for the full hour to get the meditation’s full positive effects and dammit, they’re right.